Who determines what an ideal parent looks like? Grandmother, aunt and uncle company or you on your own? Each parent raises their offspring according to themselves. And that it’s how it suppose to be.
Do you know the quote from Marisa de los Santos, author of “Love Walked In”: “No one is ever quite ready“? The idea of the ideal of raising a child is very different from reality. Raising a child is a bit like advertising: Because everyone knows it as a consumer, everyone thinks they know it. Each person was once a child, some now have their own child, we all have been at least in the role of observer, and that’s the reason why we think we can give advice and promote our opinions, which are totally different from each other.
How to don’t listen to the advice of others and find your own style:
1. Set clear boundaries
It’s always better to start setting your boundaries later than never. At the latest when your child enters the phase of autonomy. This requires an insight into yourself: Who am I, what do I want, what do I need, what are my values, how do I want to live and what is important to me?
2. Don’t compare yourself to others
What is considered “normal” in many families today has very little to do with something that is healthy, reasonable, or right. It is something that most practice and therefore recommend it further. The world has changed drastically, but no one has taught us the necessary degree of personal responsibility. The task of parents is to consciously deal with themselves and with the world, they offer their children. Extremes are never good. Comprehensibility helps orientation, regardless of age. Even children can deal with many different people and rules because they are incredibly adaptable.
3. Take your needs seriously
Focus your attention on your own needs, values and beliefs. After all, who determines what is right and what is wrong? After all the kids have told you what they need. For example, you simply wean a child who refuses to be breastfed. You will find it very difficult to force someone who doesn’t feel tired to sleep.
4. Show your feelings
Children cannot be fooled. They immediately recognize the conflict between words and body language. Let us not forget that authenticity helps in relation not only with children but also with life. However, for most people, this means starting to develop their own personalities. It is important to learn to work with your feelings. Because only someone who learns to deal with their own feelings can be a good guide for their children to learn them how to handle their own emotions.
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