What traits do good parents have in common? Are there certain things that someone does that makes him or her a good parent (or not a good parent)? Each parent raises their offspring according to themselves. And that it’s how it suppose to be. A good parent isn’t something that’s fixed or absolute.
What may seem like the traits of a good parent to one person may not fit that definition for someone else. And after all, the idea of raising a child is very different from reality.
Raising kids is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world and the one for which you might feel the least prepared.
For this topic, I prepared for the upcoming fathers some tips for their role – how to help during pregnancy, during childbirth, and the puerperium.
The role of the father
During pregnancy, childbirth and the puerperium, the father assumes the following roles:
- a driver – the main task is to transport a woman and then a child too
- accompanying – for a walk, shopping, to the doctor, the woman needs to get physical support in the man
- a masseur – who tries to relax the tense parts of the partner’s body
- a coach– who can support his wife and tell her that she is amazing that she can do it
- support – when she can lean on him mentally and physically, gain security and background in it;
- during the birth, he is the assistant – the midwife or obstetrician tries to involve him and involve him in the course of the birth and task him in some way
- the protector – the main task is to protect a woman and preserve her privacy both in the hospital and especially after returning home, and to ensure that hundreds of people do not fall on her and the baby in the first days after giving birth in an attempt to love the baby and ask the woman thousands of questions about giving birth and what it all was like
The new requirements, sometimes very demanding, that are placed on men now completely change established habits. A man has to manage his fathers’ role and at the same time a whirlwind of emotions of his partner. There is no time and enough space for his feelings and emotions and to think about how to handle this.
Here are the tips:
- go for ultrasound and screening examinations and be their active participants – ask a doctor and be interested in, for example, a description of the ultrasound image
- take part in antenatal classes, in which some meetings are reserved directly for the participation of both partners – getting acquainted with how the birth takes place, which, especially in the case of the first child, can help break down the fear of the unknown; for example, teacher of antenatal classes will also teach upcoming dads how to properly massage the back to relieve the woman of labor pains
- partner’s participation in childbirth – the best psychological support for the partner
- after coming home from the maternity hospital – support not only mental but also physical; dad helps with the purchase, he can take his partner with the child to the doctor; but the dads are also actively involved in caring for the baby, which will allow the mother to relax a little more
We know from research that men perceive the events associated with the arrival of a new family member positively. They are interested in being actively involved but will appreciate it most if they know exactly what is expected of them. Then they feel needed and helpful, they don’t get bogged down in the feelings and needs of their partner. That is where we come back to the mother – it is very important to say what you want, how you feel, all you need is to talk to your partner! They (women) should be open and understanding to their men. They should understand that even a man must cope with the new situation and should realize that they have an advantage over men in the form of feelings from a growing child in their body. And especially thanks to the maternal instincts that accompany them throughout the history of mankind.